The Bomber's Advice.... Wear Sunscreen

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your legs. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your legs until they've faded, and by then your arse will be killing you as well, But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and the rest of the 99er crew & recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. Bollox! You ARE as fat as you imagine in those tight Lycra shorts.

Don't worry about the hills. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as asking one of the girls to help you with a puncture. The real troubles in your life are getting up the next morning to start another day after you said you will only have “the one” on the night before.

Do one thing every day that scares you… ride on the back of a tandem with Aidan Flynn!

Sing.

Homage to be paid to Pat Kelly and his mouth organ. Do not make Saul agitated.

Floss.

Because its just a good thing to do,

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults and practice on your slagging. Only those with tough skin survive.

Don't be reckless with other people's bikes. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Drink.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Stretch.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Keeps your hands on the hoods, because that break is not as near as you think. Don’t lend your Vaseline tub to anyone, A peloton is your best friend and going solo into a hard wind is never fun. Remember, every hill that goes up must come down. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Because next week you will be crippled and unable to sit down.

Dance, even if your not pissed. You blend in better that way.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them. Jack may not always be there to point the way.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you look gay!

Get to know your co cyclists. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Help them along the way and share an odd yarn. They're your best link to the past years and the people most likely to stick with you for the M2M cycle in 2011.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Malcom is right you are wrong, each day starts at 9, you have to be up at 7, Fries in the morning make you fart and that’s not good if you’re on the back of a tandem. Alcohol makes your head sore but a few hours in the saddle the next day you’ll be fine and next years tour wont be as “cock heavy.”

Respect your elders. Especially if you are out numbered.

Don't expect anyone to push you. They have enough to be worried about. Know that having 10 fingers is a benefit to cycling. Who would have thought? 10 years going strong, a big shout out to Eamon for getting the 99ers off the ground in the first place.

Don't mess too much with your hair, that is, if you are lucky enough to have some….

Be careful whose advice you buy, don’t always believe them when they say we are nearly there. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth. It’s your legs that will get you to your destination, not the advice.

But trust “Da Bomber” on the sunscreen.